My sister, the suspected terrorist

From Joanie:

My younger sister, Kate, will have a birthday this Saturday. And so, in honor of my sister, I share a story of her crazy:

My younger sister is very talented. But also very weird. She works in the theatre, where weird is not only ok, but encouraged. Kate started out as an actor, and still acts, on occasion, but her real passion is for props.

Kate has been working as a propmaster at a Lort-D theatre for a few years, and I’m proud to say, is going to be starting an MFA program to become Most Epic Props Maker of All Time. I think that’s how she should sign her thesis. Just a suggestion for when you get there, Kate.

She started her love affair with props as a college student, where for work study, she was assigned to the props room to organize and clean. The current technical director liked to play a game of Stump-the-actors by making them identify various objects found in the prop room. A difficult task for any normal actor.

But remember how I said Kate was weird?

See, she paid attention at all those auctions, and asked my mom and grandfather what every object she couldn’t identify was, and for what it was used.

She knew every prop they had.

Kate is very dedicated to her job, and wants things to be as historically accurate as possible.

And so, one day, Kate was returning from a long day of props making, working in the box office at her secondary job at the theatre, and then shopping for more supplies to make props.

That’s when she was pulled over by a state police officer.

See, her tags had expired. And, as a busy theatre professional, she’d forgotten about it, as it wasn’t a needs-to-be-done-right-this-second-or-we-won’t-have-a-show task.

And the officer started to reprimand her, and Kate, exhausted, hungry, and stressed, began to cry. And when Kate cries, she starts talking very rapidly and waving her hands about.

She’s the only one in the family who does that. I have no idea where she gets it [she wrote in a sarcastic tone].

The cop, probably overwhelmed by this display of emotion, took a step back, telling her to calm down.

That’s when he looked in the back of her trunk and told her to please step out of the car.

Kate obliged, confused, and when she was further instructed to place her hands on the hood of the car, that’s when she remembered what was in her backseat that constituted “suspicious items:”

PVC pipe
Assorted electrical items including wires
Bulk batteries
Helium tanks
Disposable Cameras

I’m not sure what is suspicious about the bread and candy, but the rest of the list, that I can get behind.

The officer went item by item, asking Kate to explain what it was for, and what her job was at the theatre. She told him, and had to explain in even further detail, “the disposable cameras are because I can’t find a working camera from the 1920s. I’ll take the flashes out of those, and put it on the non-functional 1920s camera, and it will look like it works…”

After a half an hour of grilling, which included the officer’s increasing suspicion when Kate explained that she did much of her research on…horror of horrors…the internet!...Kate, with no ticket for the expired registration, was sent to the DMV with a stern warning about the importance of keeping her registration up to date.

Oh, yeah, and to do her shopping trips in the company vehicle from now on.

Happy birthday, Kate!