-by Joanie
Today's is a short one, but it was an actual conversation Michael and I had recently.
Me: Michael, do
these make my butt look gigantic?
Michael: *silence*
Me: They give me mom
butt, don't they? How is that possible? I've never given birth!
Michael: They make
your ass both nonexistent and omnipresent.
Me: These are going
back.